


Space Invaders

by OneLastMiracle



Series: Batfam Fables [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Gen, batbros, batfam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLastMiracle/pseuds/OneLastMiracle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Okay, look I know I haven’t slept in two days, have mask glue in my hair, and only have one sock, but you have to trust me when I say the aliens are being mind controlled and we have an impending intergalactic war.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space Invaders

Dick cocked a brow, giving his brother a poignant glance over.

Tim scrubbed his face. “Okay, look I know I haven’t slept in two days, have mask glue in my hair, and only have one sock, but you have to _trust_ me when I say the aliens are being mind controlled and we have an impending intergalactic war.”

Behind Dick, Damian snorted. “ Perhaps Drake should join Todd in Arkham.”

Dick shook his head, concentrating on something. “Tim? You really need to sleep some.”

The third Robin shook his head.

“Right. Okay, think about it like this. When you want to win a war, what do you do? Play fair and fight them at their strongest? No, obviously not. You learn about them. You learn everything you can. ‘Know your enemy and in one hundred battles you can never lose’ and all that. That’s what the massive data leak the Pentagon and MI5 were keeping under wraps.” He definitely did _not_ look into secret government files. Oracle did.

Dick nodded patiently, while the demonspawn crossed his arms. Tim continued.

“After you learn them inside and out, you weaken them. Small battles and disarmament.” Confused looks met him. He waved emphatically. “The military shut downs! The US government isn’t cutting back on military _now_. There’s no power within a 5 mile radius of every military base. China, US, Russia, it’s not a coincidence! And that’s why some capes left.”

“That’s just a coincidence.”

Tim stared at his older brother, assessing what Dick saw. “You think I’ve lost it.”

Dick shook his head. “No, I think you’ve been working too hard, and you’re worried about Conner. You want to find something when there isn’t anything to find.” He almost sounded sympathetic.

“Drake, sleep is-” Damian stepped forward, probably weighing the option to knock him out or not.

Tim shook his head, standing to pace. “Kory, Connor, J’onn, Clark, Clara. They’re undoubtedly the best weapons Earth has. So they took them out of the picture!”

Dick’s line of a mouth hardened into a frown. “Tim, we don’t know why they left, but probably aren’t related, Kory said something happened on Tamaran, and Martian Manhunter was planning on a mission anyway. We don’t-”

“ All the aliens on Earth just decide to leave? At exactly 13:20 EST? Without either saying a word to anyone and just drop what they’re doing? Kon and I were in the middle of training! And Jason said Kory was in the middle of _showering_. I sincerely doubt she just left on a whim to go home.” Dick looked away and shrugged. _“They’re disarming us.”_

“Who, Drake? Who would possibly want to wage war against Earth?” Damian sounded impatient, as he would with a child spouting nonsense. Hell, maybe Tim _did_ sound like a child spouting nonsense. It had been a while since he’d slept...

Tim ran a hand through his hair for the nth time. “Brainiac most likely. Vandal Savage. Parallax. Any of Superman’s or Green Lantern’s enemies. Might just be another imperialistic alien race with mind control. Alternate universe.” He sighed. “It could be any number of possibilities.”

"Why just the five of them? Shouldn't they have taken Wonder Woman, Shazam, hell, they should have taken you and B if they knew anything about Earth's weapons. Why just those five?" Dick asked. 

Tim shrugged. "Maybe they want the irradication of all humans. And sent away the aliens. I mean, everyone who left was from another planet anyway. Or maybe they figured humans at their peak can't compete with Superman, so it should be fine. I mean, they're not wrong. Maybe just a lapse in logic. Can't be sure."

Dick looked less like he wanted to sedate him, which was good. “Well, that’s not entirely crazy, but I really doubt any alien invaders studied Sun Tzu.”

Tim shrugged. “Learn everything about your enemy, Step One. Including their strategies of war.”

The room fell into silence for a moment. Tim could feel Damian judging him, judging the state of his apartment. It had been a long two days. But even before that it wasn’t like Tim could be bothered to clean regularly anyway.

“Okay,” Dick said slowly. “Let’s assume I _do_ believe you. What should we be doing?”

Tim took a half second to enjoy the betrayed look Damian shot Dick. “Call the League and the Lantern Corps and tell them we have to prepare for an attack. Enact Protocol Votum.”

“You know what, Timmy,” Dick said, grinning as he took out his communicator. “You might be the smartest person on the planet. But don’t tell Bruce, he’d take it personally.”

“In the meantime, Drake. A shower is required.” Damian piped up again. He had a remarkably dark smile on his face- never a good sign following advice. “And we’ve been sent to ensure you get some sleep.”

Tim put his hands up to block the brat in whatever he was about to do. “No, I mean really, guys I’m fine. I just showered yesterday.”

Dick looked up. “Tim, it’s Thursday.”

“Oh.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> And then Tim showered and ate and went to bed and the world was once again saved by an obsessive Red Robin.
> 
> And then a hug Timmy pile happened and connor and all came back and lived happy ever after. 
> 
> <3


End file.
